kt00na said:
At least it doesn’t seem so bad here. Those purple plants are nice looking, and all your stuff is with you, so that’s ni-OH GOD IS THAT BEEF’S ARM? I think some mild panic is appropriate in this situation.
AHHH.
AHHH.
AHHH.
AHHH.
AHHH.
AHHH.
AHHH.
Beef’s severed arm is talking to you. Okay. Okay. Relax. Relax, it says. Let’s do that.
Okay.
Okay.
You create a mental list of possibilities:
- Planeshifted to one of the outer planes.
- Hallucinatory terrain.
- Teleported somewhere really weird.
- Brain damage.
- You died.
- Microcosm.
Claws crossed for number two.
Now, let’s try listening to that severed arm.
“Listen, guy, calm down. I don’t know why, but I like you. There’s just some things that you should know.”
“Uh… kays?”
“Good, good, you’re listening. Okay, first off, Beef is probably going to want to kill you now. I mean, I hung out with him for a long time, and he’s a frenzied berserker. I saw Beef choke a stone giant to death once, after the stone giant cut him in half.”
“Listen to me!” the viscera reminds you. “Beef’s a retired adventurer, because he’s getting venerable in age and wanted to settle down for a while. You should be fine as long as you never let him see you again.”
“I’s not sure I’s gonna see anybody again,” you say. “Where are we’s?”
“Oh, beats me.”
- Planeshifted to one of the outer planes.
Hallucinatory terrain.- Teleported somewhere really weird.
- Brain damage.
- You died.
- Microcosm.
“Anyway,” the arm continues, “I’ve been on the adventuring ring a few times. You should take me with you, on account of I am really bored and also on account of if you don’t, I’ll help Beef track you down. I won’t be able to do much directly, but again, I know a lot. I can be your mentor!”
- Planeshifted to one of the outer planes.
Hallucinatory terrain.- Teleported somewhere really weird.
- Brain damage.
- You died.
- Microcosm.
“So’s… uh… what do you’s suggest I do right now?”
Dan said:
Get ye flask.
Doc_Wak said:
What are you waiting for? Take the boots.
“That, no, what you are doing. Stop. You ruined it.”
“But it didn’t fit,” you respond. “And there’s was only one.”
“The teleportation magic would’ve worked anyway. Now you’ve gotta find a cobbler. Great. Guess we’re going to actually get to know each other now. Hi, I’m Mela.”
Screw You, Kurtulmak! 
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Use some cloth, or maybe one of those cool purple leaves, and maybe some candle wax to bandage up the bloody end of that arm. Don’t want to make a mess while carting your new best friend around.